Have just spent more than a week helping my special needs brother in hospital. Did I ever need to totally depend on Father God?
What do we really mean when we say “totally depend”? To me it is like going to the beach. You enter the water and you can even swim, but whenever you want to you can put your feet down and be secure. That is depending on your ability. However, if you go out further, you will find that you can no longer touch the sand, all you have is the water to support you, and within that you have to find the way.
When we take away the secure foundation under our feet, it is like abandoning ourself to the leading of God. You have only him to show you where to go and how. At times you can feel like you are in a rip and out of control, and then you have to hold on to God and trust his ability to get you to where you should be. Sometimes this is very difficult, and frightening, and it is not until you get to the destination that you realise that God was totally in control.
And that is how I felt at times with my brother. His communication ability is very limited. This is difficult because he comprehends what is going on and cannot formulate the question or statement that he wants to utter. And so it was when he was recovering from the hip operation. He knew what he wanted and even knew where it should be, but he could not formulate the words to let me know. And he was not allowed out of bed. I had to repeatedly ask Father God what it was my brother wanted. When the two came together I could help him with what he wanted.
One thing he did not want was to stay in the chair when he needed something. One time I had to hold this very tall, very strong man until help came. It was really the strength of God that I had to rely on as I don’t have all that much strength. And yet I survived it all.
There is one scripture I had to rely on. Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” The first part of this is very often relied upon, without the second part. To trust God is one thing, but if we do it within our own understanding then the trusting is conditional. But when we abandon ourselves to our trust in God, we see him acting where we fail.
I am so grateful.